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The Dwelling.
Messing with reality.
Recent Entries 
16th-Nov-2009 08:09 pm - FINAL-FREAKIN-LY!

13th-Sep-2008 08:23 pm - Bill, I owe you one.

Im relieved to say that my temporary post-hospital trauma (?) has been pacified by listening to the new album of The Academy Is...
I've been waking up to cravings of their new songs. I've been hanging on to every line, every beat, and every guitar riff as if they're the only things I know.

I wonder now if it's exactly healthy for me to be drifting away to music heaven every now and then when I should be focusing on work. Sadly, I've been doing this long enough not to care. In fact, I'm beginning to get used to seeing my mother's worrying. It's her favorite hobby. I know she fears that I'll never be able to fight off the lures of my youth. That I won't quite end up like her if I keep all this up: the "me against the corporate world" mentality.
I wonder what she'll finally say on the day she finds out that I was never anything more than her failed experiment. My life gets too predictable sometimes.

*stopping here before I end up spilling my visions of my impending doom...*


I'm trying to get myself to be upbeat, but it seems that I'm getting dragged down by the weather no matter how hard I try. It's been raining for days now. This reminds me of my stay in London: wet and utterly depressing. No pun intended, but the moment I got there I suddenly missed every single one back home and wanted to be home. It was the worst case of homesickness - the kind that's amplified by unpredictable weather.

Now I guess its up to TAI to paint a semi-permanent smile on my face.
11th-Sep-2008 03:25 am - Monster.

The word sounds like the ultimate 21st century joke to me, yet here I am making a fool of myself. I knew it was going to come to this, anyway. I just wonder why I had to do this now, when I'm about to be late for a meeting. All I know is that right now, this is the only thing that's keeping me from going nuts. Even ice cream is starting to lose its magic on me.

As weird as this may seem, I have to say that after that hospital incident, I noticed that I've been very angry/weird/melancholic lately. So, I just recovered from an acute febrile disease. When I heard that it was supposedly fatal, I wasn't shocked at all. What bothered me is that I imagined myself on a fifty-fifty situation: Tubes, blood, and needles everywhere. What else is that the bloody thought comes to mind every time I don't get my way or when I get hurt. I'm liking the idea, and I hate myself for it.

I'm scared of what I'm becoming...even if it's all in my head. I'm disguising myself as the crippled traveler when all I should be is a short version of the Good Samaritan.

To think I didn't even get blood transfusion to cause all this post personality change.
At the moment, I can't think of anything better than ice cream to remedy my poor head.

Oh crap, my meeting!
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